Silken Slapdash Scrap

Honey, darling, you must really see this. 19th Century, the turn, mind. A real antique. Fabulous.

Incongruous Innovation

The trees started talking again.

They did that every now and then, just to pass the time, I suppose. The trick is—and the average person wouldn’t suspect—that trees are jerks. It might have been an identity issue; who wants to talk to a tree? I doubt that anyone had explained to them why they could speak, in tones that ranged from the hush of leaves dancing across a bronze statue, or the churn of the foamy water gushing out of the distillery a few miles down.

I wanted to know though. Hell, I might even tell them one day.

Incongruous Innovation. That was the name of my exploration company. With me was my classic Webster’s Dictionary, (circa 2025, before everyone added the prefix –mega to everything), and a revolver at my side. I also had this natty old messenger bag (I believe that it was made out of real leather. I refuse to accept otherwise). It had gotten caught on a few things over the years, though, more often, things got caught in it.

Like the revolver.

The trees whispered at me as I stumbled through the underbrush. I really had no need to run; Soggy Pete was hardly a champion mover. I took a deep breath and listened for footsteps. Or, better yet, the loud smack of an inebriated body hitting the ground.

I slowed to a jog and looked down at the weapon, inspecting the fruits of my quick fingers.

“Mega-vovler. This side up.”

Ugh.

Poetry Scrap #2

I pretend to relax
On the cold stone bench
Hardly touched by the morning's light

I flash commuters friendly smiles
Providing them gentle reminders
Of the out of sorts

And the out of place

Flash Fiction Scrap #5

He knew, immediately, that he had made a terrible mistake.

"I think," she crossed her arms over her chest "We have had quite enough tea today."

She stood up with a start, her chair clattering to the ground. If she were not so furious, so consumed with outrage, she would have let a triumphant smirk cross her face.

Poetry Scrap #1

It's always something
We're never really alone
(Would you really want to be?)

Like a cat in the attic
I will shake this house
With the timbre of my soul

If I could find it
I would tell it
How I miss him so

Flash Fiction Scrap #4

It wasn't so much that he loved the weather. It was more that it was consistent; the chattering of the afternoon storms on his shelter was one of his few comforts. Turnips, some spring onions, and scraggly rosemary bush were the staples of his diet, as well as the occasional crawling and hopping things. He hadn't had a poor reaction yet, though the blue hopping ones made his mouth itch. He knew one thing for certain—he'd never use a budget agency again.

Flash Fiction Scrap #3

The letters she received were the oddest things, she thought. Little envelopes closed with great precision—they certainly were a pain to open. The card the envelopes contained was usually a dull sort of beige and blank, aside from the word "Welcome" in a wholly obnoxious script.